Twas the night before Christmas: Difference between revisions

From lurkmore wiki
Jump to navigationJump to search
No edit summary
No edit summary
Line 1: Line 1:
A legendary post on [[/b/]] that appeared on the night of December 23rd, authored by a user named EurobeatJester. The text was a parody of the well known poem "The Night Before Christmas," instead filled with references to [[4chan]].
A legendary post on [[/b/]] that appeared on the night of December 23rd, authored by a user named ''EurobeatJester''. The text was a parody of the well known poem [[w:A Visit from St. Nicholas|A Visit from St. Nicholas]], instead filled with references to [[4chan]]. The thread was posted two more times on /b/, on Christmas Eve.
The thread was posted again on [[/b/]] twice on Christmas Eve, the second time by the original author again. It quickly was elevated to the status of copypasta.
<hr />
Twas the night before Christmas, and all throughout /b/,


<nowiki>Twas the night before Christmas, and all throughout /b/,
Every /b/tard was fapping, and that includes me.
Every /b/tard was fapping, and that includes me.


The PENIS was out, proudly stiff in the air
in hopes of a post that would please Pedobear


The [[PENIS]] was out, proudly stiff in the air
The /b/tards all staring in front of the screen
 
in hopes of a post that would please [[Pedobear]]
 
 
The [[/b/]]tards all staring in front of the screen
 
Catching unearthly visions, all mainly unseen
Catching unearthly visions, all mainly unseen
 
Except for the pasta that flooded the board
Except for the [[pasta]] that flooded the board
 
Christmas was coming to 4chan.org
Christmas was coming to 4chan.org


 
With a stickam whore wearing a red santa cap
With a [[stickam]] whore wearing a red santa cap
and every guy screaming that it was a trap
 
Crashing the server while trying to GET
and every guy screaming that it was a [[trap]]
 
Crashing the server while trying to [[GET]]
 
All normal things for this part of the net
All normal things for this part of the net


When up on the roof, a noise that perplexed
When up on the roof, a noise that perplexed
I shot off my load in startled reflex
I shot off my load in startled reflex


Away from the desktop, I flew in a flash
Away from the desktop, I flew in a flash
Wondering what the hell caused the crash
Wondering what the hell caused the crash


When, what to my wondering eyes did I see
When, what to my wondering eyes did I see
A man black as night, above all thhe trees
A man black as night, above all thhe trees


Pulled by a horde of [[memes]], well because,
Pulled by a horde of memes, well because,
 
I figured at once that it was Nigra Claus.
I figured at once that it was [[Nigra]] Claus.
 
 
Faster than a [[rapidshare]] download they came


Faster than a rapidshare download they came
And his voiced boomed aloud, calling all of their names.
And his voiced boomed aloud, calling all of their names.


 
"Now Zimmer, Now Cracky, now Mongler and Desu!
"Now [[Zimmer]], Now [[Cracky]], now [[Mongler]] and [[Desu]]!
On Delay, on Picard, on Gendo, and Deku!
 
To the top of the board, where the sticky pin lies!"
On [[Delay]], on [[Picard]], on [[Gendo]], and Deku!
 
To the top of the [[board]], where the sticky pin lies!"
 
Needless to say, I was very suprised.
Needless to say, I was very suprised.


He landed upon the grass of the lawn
He landed upon the grass of the lawn
and walked towards the house, as bright as the dawn
and walked towards the house, as bright as the dawn
The source of the glowing was no magic spell
The source of the glowing was no magic spell
 
"SHOOP DA WHOOP|IMMA CHARGIN' MAH LAZER!" the red-lipped one yelled.
"[[SHOOP DA WHOOP|IMMA CHARGIN' MAH LAZER!]]" the red-lipped one yelled.
 


The front door exploded, all shattered to splinters
The front door exploded, all shattered to splinters
I realized I just took a shit in my knickers
I realized I just took a shit in my knickers
They poured in the room, with quite a large ruckus
They poured in the room, with quite a large ruckus
"Candlejack?" I exclaimed. "What the fuck is-"
"Candlejack?" I exclaimed. "What the fuck is-"


The words were unable to flow from my voice
The words were unable to flow from my voice
Little did I realize that I had no choice
Little did I realize that I had no choice
to sit and endure the riotous mass
to sit and endure the riotous mass
With cum on my stomach and shit on my ass.
With cum on my stomach and shit on my ass.


Saint Nigra stepped forth, and wrinkling his nose
Saint Nigra stepped forth, and wrinkling his nose
 
took a look at the room, and shouted "POOL'S CLOSED
took a look at the room, and shouted "[[POOL'S CLOSED]]
 
Don't go in the water, it's full of stingrays
Don't go in the water, it's full of stingrays
and plagued with a virus that's known as the AIDS."


and plagued with a virus that's known as the [[AIDS]]."
George Zimmer stood next, and reached into his frock-
 
 
[[George Zimmer]] stood next, and reached into his frock-
 
"IT NEEDS TO BE HUEG TO MAKE ROOM FOR MY COCK"
"IT NEEDS TO BE HUEG TO MAKE ROOM FOR MY COCK"
Pulled out some new pants, for my own I had shit
Pulled out some new pants, for my own I had shit
"FROM THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE, BITCH, I GUARANTEE IT."
"FROM THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE, BITCH, I GUARANTEE IT."


He stepped back, and a doll took his place
He stepped back, and a doll took his place
while two orbs of color shined out from her face
while two orbs of color shined out from her face
Her features contorted like an old anguished jew
Her features contorted like an old anguished jew
"Desu desu desu, desu desu desu desu."
"Desu desu desu, desu desu desu desu."


 
Cockmongler ran up and grabbed hold of my dick
[[Cockmongler]] ran up and grabbed hold of my dick
 
And then took off his shirt, I thought I'd be sick
And then took off his shirt, I thought I'd be sick
He put the rag on me, as I stood there perplexed
He put the rag on me, as I stood there perplexed
now adorned by the image of a bright green T-Rex
now adorned by the image of a bright green T-Rex


 
Picard flipped me off at warp factor "fuck you"
[[Picard]] flipped me off at warp factor "fuck you"
while Cracky-chan smiled, her teeth all askew
 
while [[Cracky-chan]] smiled, her teeth all askew
 
"Who are you," I asked, "Why are you in this region?"
"Who are you," I asked, "Why are you in this region?"
 
"We are anonymous," they said. "Anonymous is legion."
"We are [[anonymous]]," they said. "Anonymous is legion."
 


As quick as the flash, they all left the scene
As quick as the flash, they all left the scene
With plenty of shouting and phrases obscene
With plenty of shouting and phrases obscene
They swarmed a female who was blocking their route
They swarmed a female who was blocking their route
and all screamed at once "TITS OR GTFO"


and all screamed at once "[[TITS OR GTFO]]"
Mongler suggested "Stick it in her pooper!"
 
 
[[Mongler]] suggested "Stick it in her pooper!"
 
The raeping commenced so fast it was blurred
The raeping commenced so fast it was blurred
They turned then to me, and shouted quite clear
They turned then to me, and shouted quite clear
 
"Merry Christmas to /b/, we'll raep you next year!"</nowiki>
"Merry Christmas to [[/b/]], we'll raep you next year!"
 


[[Category:Copypasta]]
[[Category:Copypasta]]

Revision as of 19:10, 18 October 2014

A legendary post on /b/ that appeared on the night of December 23rd, authored by a user named EurobeatJester. The text was a parody of the well known poem A Visit from St. Nicholas, instead filled with references to 4chan. The thread was posted two more times on /b/, on Christmas Eve.

Twas the night before Christmas, and all throughout /b/,
Every /b/tard was fapping, and that includes me.

The PENIS was out, proudly stiff in the air
in hopes of a post that would please Pedobear

The /b/tards all staring in front of the screen
Catching unearthly visions, all mainly unseen
Except for the pasta that flooded the board
Christmas was coming to 4chan.org

With a stickam whore wearing a red santa cap
and every guy screaming that it was a trap
Crashing the server while trying to GET
All normal things for this part of the net

When up on the roof, a noise that perplexed
I shot off my load in startled reflex

Away from the desktop, I flew in a flash
Wondering what the hell caused the crash

When, what to my wondering eyes did I see
A man black as night, above all thhe trees

Pulled by a horde of memes, well because,
I figured at once that it was Nigra Claus.

Faster than a rapidshare download they came
And his voiced boomed aloud, calling all of their names.

"Now Zimmer, Now Cracky, now Mongler and Desu!
On Delay, on Picard, on Gendo, and Deku!
To the top of the board, where the sticky pin lies!"
Needless to say, I was very suprised.

He landed upon the grass of the lawn
and walked towards the house, as bright as the dawn
The source of the glowing was no magic spell
"SHOOP DA WHOOP|IMMA CHARGIN' MAH LAZER!" the red-lipped one yelled.

The front door exploded, all shattered to splinters
I realized I just took a shit in my knickers
They poured in the room, with quite a large ruckus
"Candlejack?" I exclaimed. "What the fuck is-"

The words were unable to flow from my voice
Little did I realize that I had no choice
to sit and endure the riotous mass
With cum on my stomach and shit on my ass.

Saint Nigra stepped forth, and wrinkling his nose
took a look at the room, and shouted "POOL'S CLOSED
Don't go in the water, it's full of stingrays
and plagued with a virus that's known as the AIDS."

George Zimmer stood next, and reached into his frock-
"IT NEEDS TO BE HUEG TO MAKE ROOM FOR MY COCK"
Pulled out some new pants, for my own I had shit
"FROM THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE, BITCH, I GUARANTEE IT."

He stepped back, and a doll took his place
while two orbs of color shined out from her face
Her features contorted like an old anguished jew
"Desu desu desu, desu desu desu desu."

Cockmongler ran up and grabbed hold of my dick
And then took off his shirt, I thought I'd be sick
He put the rag on me, as I stood there perplexed
now adorned by the image of a bright green T-Rex

Picard flipped me off at warp factor "fuck you"
while Cracky-chan smiled, her teeth all askew
"Who are you," I asked, "Why are you in this region?"
"We are anonymous," they said. "Anonymous is legion."

As quick as the flash, they all left the scene
With plenty of shouting and phrases obscene
They swarmed a female who was blocking their route
and all screamed at once "TITS OR GTFO"

Mongler suggested "Stick it in her pooper!"
The raeping commenced so fast it was blurred
They turned then to me, and shouted quite clear
"Merry Christmas to /b/, we'll raep you next year!"